I cried today

I don't know why

but I cried today.


I cried today
wishing I was pretty.

so that,
they could believe
that
maybe,
I have a golden heart.

so that
friends..
will never be ashamed to
walk beside me.

I wished I was pretty

so that
someone could say to himself
that
'I could love her.'

so that, maybe

no one
will ever laugh at me again
when I told them my dreams.

or I could look in the mirror
and smile
and say to myself, 'I don't look so bad.'

I will never be laughed at
or make myself throw up

precious food.

perhaps and maybe,
no one will ever look at me and say,

she's got nothing.


And so I went to bed that night.
And dreamt of a man who was blind.

And he whispered into my ears,

'You are beautiful.'

I smiled at him,

and deep in my heart I wished
that
hopefully,

I will never have to wake up again.