Rainbows

Friday, November 12, 2004

What do you do when you have lost a colour of your rainbow?
It feels, surreal, you know.
It feels, like, you could never wake up again.
And you don't know what to do.
Even a week later,

You really dont.

My perfect life was embraced by seven colours.
Seven colours; one for divinity.
Five colours for the five beautiful souls whom I eternally love with all my heart.
And one hopeful colour for the stranger who has yet to walk into my life.

On the 6th of November, my rainbow did not seem right.
A colour has faded away.
Much too early.

I thought, I will be home for Christmas, and we will have fun together.
I thought, maybe, he will meet my boyfriend one day.
And i thought, when I am home for good,
We could grow old together.

But on the 6th of December
He never came home.

I don't know where he is.
And I was, and still am, afraid to pray.
He never woke.

I wished I told him how much I loved him.
I wish, that someone will tell me, if I can ever see him again.

If God ever hears my prayers, I will only ask of Him that
He will keep my Sam under His safe wings.

If this was a punishment from vengeful destiny,
then there are many others out there who are left unpunished.

If this was the result of karma,
then our fates are ruled by a blind and infantile force.

If either of this is true,
I will not allow the juvenile nature of Life to destroy me.

And with every courage, I pray that,
after the rain,

My rainbow will look just as beautiful as it did before.